by Kimberly Bonnell and Pamela Satran
1. The webcam didn't do her justice.
2. Only one beer? Check. Ate the Altoids? Check. Pre-date safety orgasm? Check.
3. Please don’t wear the baggy T-shirt.
4. Duuuuuuude...
5. Interesting. Another nipple shape for my mental collection.
6. Who is Mike? And what is his name doing there?
7. Hmm…have I ever washed these sheets?
8. I kinda don’t care if they’re fake.
9. Focus on her eyes, focus on her eyes, focus on her…oh, forget it.
10. Suck in my gut, suck in my gut, suck in my…oh, forget it.
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